Merry Christmas! Season’s Greetings! Salutations!
Let me tell you all a secret about The Shameful Narcissist.
Yes, I am a Christmas Goth. That’s right. Agnostic, cynical, near nihilistic me loves the holliest, jolliest, cheeriest (beeriest?) holiday of the year. This…was not always so. Christmas and I have had a rocky relationship. Oh quick warning…
Like most children raised in households that celebrate Christmas, I loved the holiday. I mean…what kid doesn’t love receiving a plethora of gifts? I remember one year I asked my mother if she would wrap all of the presents that we got from Santa (yes, I was a believer), and despite everything, she did it. I, sadly, did not inherit her ability to wrap. I can do it, but I don’t have a lot of patience for the task My husband is great at it, but I digress.
So up until age 14 I loved Christmas, then after my mother died I hated it, because memories, teenage angst (tacked on to grief), and now known depression do not a Merry Christmas make.
From around age 18 to my early twenties I was ambivalent about Christmas. I could take it or leave it. I think this is the sentiment of most people in that demographic.
Then around age 23 after I moved out on my own, my roommate at the time surprised me with a Christmas Tree. We didn’t have a lot of money so this was a pretty big deal. Granted our (at the time) new kitten Kin-mei utterly destroyed her hard earned present,
but it was a nice sentiment.
After that I started enjoying Christmas for the good I remembered and the nostalgia it would bring instead of the persistent ache of loss it could conjure.
Then in 2006 after seeing a particular movie and finding out that the time leading up to Christmas was called Advent and all the significance around that, I am in love forever, but it’s that love that’s more profound because it has known heartache.
So this is all the intro! I decided this year I’m going to post a song a day leading up to the big one, and maybe I”ll post a question, too. I don’t know…I make no promise with that, but the very first song on this first Advent Sunday is none other than the Advent hymn itself “Veni Veni Emmanuel” or as is the translation and actual song title of this particular rendition “O Come O Come Emmanuel” by The Piano Guys. I adore this version even without the words. The sonorous beauty of the cello and the perfect accompaniment of the piano are more than enough to bring me to tears.
What holiday or holidays do you celebrate?
As is obvious from the above I celebrate Christmas, but that holiday “borrows” quite a lot from Yule and many others. I really wish there were 12 Days of Christmas. It would make all that preparation worth it instead of just doing all that work for one day.